A different kind of doubt? or faith?

I have often said that I'm ashamed of the amount of times I do not trust God. When, in essence, I really do. When asked about particular situations, wants, or desires, I do not feel that I am trusting God to follow through or work them out for me. I've recently come to realize that it's not me not trusting, because I sincerely believe that God can and will do all of those things. For lots of people. What I do not believe a lot of the times, is that He would do so for me. I just don't see Him doing certain things...for one reason or another. I think I finally came to the conclusion that it's not about God and this person or that person, and what He has shown or done for them, it's about God and Kim - and what He has to show her. For the right here, for the right now. Now, if I could just figure out how.